January 2020
Existence
Living in a missing piece,
Dream finding the keys
To open up the chest covered in sheets
Along with your presence on my cheeks.
Going back to the old days,
When I could touch your face,
A memory that can't be replaced
And lingers to your warm embrace.
And now I'm standing here alone,
Waiting for you to come home.
But you are lying under the stone.
You might be looking at God's throne.
Feeling empty when you're not with me,
Upon the eyes that cannot see.
Hearing your voice in harmony,
Wish to turn back the time when we're happy.
(by Ezar Co ~ January 11, 2019)
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Dream of Fame
When I was at a young age,
I dreamed of a stage,
Performing with grace
Throughout my days.
Dreaming to be in fame
And knowing my name
Over some things to obtain
And people to entertain.
Crowds's applause to be heard,
Sound like a hummingbird.
A lovely gift to earn
An yet a smile in return.
A great show to feel
As if it is real,
But the lights hardly gleam
And everything is just a dream.
(by Ezar Co ~ January 17, 2020)
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Endanger: The Extension
And now, bunch of bad news is flashing in
To this world, like the end is coming.
How could we able to stop everything
When Exodus could be happening?
Hoping Revelation couldn't happen
When many lives are golden.
How much more we'll be threatened?
As if we're crossing on the thin batten.
What's really happening to this world?
Had we might be no longer safe?
What would be the real look of the world?
Could we still able to escape?
(by Ezar Co ~ January 28, 2020)
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February 2020
The Perfect Lust
Hitting up each other through the phone
And we meet up 'cause we're both alone.
In the parking lot, we go.
Riding a car, safe to bestow.
I keep looking at your young face,
The one I wanted to embrace.
Like a sweet cherry to taste
And makes me float through a vast space.
Upon squeezing my thigh many times,
I taste your lips like a glass of wine.
A night playing with romantic chimes,
Wishing to be with you all the time.
Right then, I'm smiling all the way home.
Stalking you on my smartphone.
Just wanted to know you more,
Maybe I love you forevermore.
Now, I'm thinking of you,
Too obsessed to have you.
I don't know what to do
Just to see you through.
Every time I sleep,
I see you in my dreams
Over the moonbeam
And my heart beats in extreme.
I always recall the day we had
Like I was writing it in a notepad.
I keep waiting for you to start the chat,
Hoping our connection would long-last.
Wanted to see you again,
Like it was a February ten.
I would be happy even if we stay friends,
As long as we meet again and again.
(by Ezar Co ~ February 14, 2020)
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P.S. (Post Scriptum)
Loving you without any reason,
Even you're thirty-five years old.
Spending night with you in all season,
Then take my hand and hold.
Seeing the magic in the air
When we are together.
Just like fireflies everywhere
That made me feel better.
Wish you couldn't forget
The day when we first met,
The time when we get wet,
And my own silhouette.
(by Ezar Co ~ February 18, 2020)
___________
The Trick
Now your thought has started to contrive,
You're too excited when he arrives.
But all I give was faking smiles,
Making distance like a thousand miles.
Upon seeing you how sweet you were,
Making me jealous for me to hurt.
Even though he was your first,
Why am I feeling the thirst?
Maybe I couldn't give what you want
Yet, I'm trying to give you my worth to want.
But something came for me to haunt
Like a ghost that made me blunt.
I just want to leave and go home,
But I can't speak up 'cause I'm alone.
So I typed everything on my phone
About what I felt last night until dawn.
It's hurting me what I saw that night
How I wish you should do it on me too.
But what's the worth of your invite
If I don't know what to do.
I guess you made me the bait to play,
Even though you caught the fish in a game,
Still, I was too foolish to stay
And choked with my pride and shame.
And now, you're giving me a hint
That I'm not your ideal type,
Throwing at me the pieces of flint,
Telling me, I'm the one you don't like.
Yet I'm acting out the desire you wanted
So you don't feel the pain that I'm feeling now,
Inside the room that has been frosted
Without knowing it's burning somehow.
As I was trembling down
Over the water to drown,
I doubt if I should let you go.
I think you have to know.
Because I'm getting out of place
And had this feeling I was erased.
But I ended up hitting you again,
Even though I was suffering in pain.
(by Ezar Co ~ February 29, 2020)
*happened February 28, 2020
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March 2020
Broken Wing
'Cause no one hears me,
Keeping silence and mystery.
Letting them find me
Over my depression and anxiety.
My dream had failed to come
And all I did was getting tantrums,
Then I started to feel numb,
Hearing echoes of rumbling drums.
I'd never been trusted
As if I was that wicked.
And now I'm getting rusted,
Burning down and afflicted.
Too tired of waiting
When it turns out nothing.
Can't feel the everything
Just like a broken wing.
(by Ezar Co ~ March 9, 2020)
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Idle
I wish I could kiss you.
I wish I could embrace you.
'Cause every time I think of you,
I wanted to lay beside you.
As I always care for you,
Hoping you care for me too.
'Cause I really miss you.
Did you feel the same way too?
I'm almost getting crazy
For having you desperately,
Then I'm falling over my anxiety,
Over-thinking our lives to be happy.
But how could this be
If you never haunt me.
I'm waiting for you to catch me,
But I'm tired to get fall on thee.
Nothing goes on between us
And it's breaking me apart.
I'm the one who adjusts,
But my care, you always discard.
(by Ezar Co ~ March 11, 2020)
___________
April 2020
Disconnected
Throughout this bitterness,
Too numb to taste the sweetness
Within your pleasing caress
And burning into darkness.
I'm tired of this insanity,
Tired of your insincerity.
We already lost our destiny,
Couldn't find it in every city.
No light upon the window,
Couldn't see your shadow.
Never see what's on below,
You better leave and go.
Another gate was closed,
Another fate was opposed.
Through all these sorrows,
It's time to leave and rose.
No red string detected
And I was neglected.
Nothing to be expected
'Cause we are disconnected.
(by Ezar Co ~ April 3, 2020)
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